July 25th

25 use to be just a number to me. 

 I never thought of anything in particular when hearing it.  Now every time the month rolls around to the 25th I feel an ache in my heart. 

 I remember 24 months ago when my sweet uncle Scott passed away.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about him or the life he lived.  I think about the great example he set, I think about the wonderful kids he raised, I think about the amazing relationship he had with his wife, and I think about how much I miss him and how life can be so unfair at times.  

It can sometimes be hard to accept what God's will is and still keep your faith up. 

That has been a huge struggle for me over these past few years. 

I am selfish.

I want my uncle to be alive and healthy. 

 I want him to play with his grand babies and see his children grow.  I want him in Island Park and at Christmas with the family laughing and cracking jokes like he always does.  

While he was sick I was always waiting for a miracle to happen.  I wanted the cancer go away so he could live a long and healthy life.  I had so much faith that Heavenly Father would answer our prayers that I was completely shattered when he passed. 

I was expecting a miracle.  

But the truth is, a miracle happened.  Scott lived 4 years with his cancer when they said he had 6 months.  He saw his first grand baby born, he saw his beautiful daughters get married in the temple, he got to take Jace to the temple before his mission, and he saw Taigen go on her first date and become a wonderful woman.  

Heavenly Father answered our prayers.  It may not be in the time or way we like but 

he always answers them.  

I have grown so much because of my uncle's example.  He is one of the greatest people I have ever known.  

I miss him so much and 

I want him here.

But the truth is, he is here. 

I can feel him with me all the time.  I feel him when I visit the temple or when I talk about great memories I shared with him.  I can feel him when I'm with my amazing family.

Scott helped me so much while he was alive and he continues to help me now.  He helps me receive personal revelation and comforts me when I need it. 

If not for him, I wouldn't be who I am today.  

I never want him to be forgotten.  It scares me that over time his memory will fade.  I want everyone to know the amazing man he was.  I want my kids to know what an impact he has had on my life and the lives of others.  There will always be a special place in my heart for my dear uncle Scotty dog.

I know someday I will be able to see him again.

As for now all I can do is remember what a great example he was and all the fond memories I shared with him.

Back to Poky

Well I promised myself I would be better at this blogging business but it seems that I was mistaken.  I am really gonna try! A lot of new things has happened I feel like. My life is kinda crazy right now. Crazy as in I'm not sure what I'm doing with it, I'm just going with the flow.  The only things I'm sure of at the moment is I'm going to go to college, not at Boise State, but at ISU.  I guess I just like college hopping, or I can't seem to figure out where I am supposed to be.  I loved Utah State while I was down there but it just wasn't for me.  I decided that Boise State had a pretty good program for Athletic Training so I decided I would move up there and go to college in the fall.  I moved up there the beginning of May.  I really did enjoy Boise. My apartment was awesome! I lived right across from the stadium and a bike ride away from downtown.  My apartment also sat on the greenbelt so it was easy access to get anywhere. Running and biking on it was a blast too.  It was also fun to be around the family up there and I liked all of my jobs, but I couldn't shake the feeling like this still wasn't right.  Even before I moved up there I had a little doubt about going up there, but since the plan was already in motion I decided to shrug it off and ignore my little feelings.  I decided I should pray about it because I was at a loss for what I was supposed to do.  I felt like the logical thing to do was to stay in Boise.  I had 3 jobs and all my things were up there and it was working out pretty well.  But one day at work I was just thinking about nothing, hoping somebody would drowned because lifeguarding is super boring at times, and I had the strangest feeling like I should move back to Pocatello.  I thought it was a kind of crazy idea, but for some reason it seemed right.  I prayed a little more and felt like it was what I was supposed to do.  But the logical thing was obviously staying in Boise.  My dad then called me a day later and was talking to me and he asked if I was going to come home.  I was a little taken back at first because we hadn't talked about it at all.  I talked to my mom and she said they were having some feeling like Boise wasn't right and that I needed to come home.  They said it was completely my decision but they could tell I wasn't happy.  Which I really wasn't.  I tried to pretend I was but deep down I knew Boise wasn't right.  I talked to my parents for another week or two and then finally decided to pack up and head home.  I told all my bosses that I was leaving and I came home the next week.  My parents were going to California for my aunts wedding so I decided I would go with them.  We just got back from California yesterday and here I am, sitting in my kitchen in Poky.  I am going to go get my stuff in Boise soon and move into my parents basement.  So all in all I really have no idea what I'm doing but I think Poky is where I belong. Which is pretty ironic because I always have wanted to be as far away from here as I could get.  Weird how things work out.  I am happy to be back.  My singles ward is awesome and I get to play with my cat Pepper everyday!  I am also so excited to go to Island Park!! It is seriously the best place on Earth!!

The last year has been pretty crazy.  I have moved from Poky to Logan to Boise and then back to Poky, my hair has grown a few more inches, I realized I love zucchini and guacamole, and I realized that Heavenly Father has a plan for us and we have to trust him.  I love my life and am so blessed to have an amazing family and amazing opportunities in store for me!! My next adventure will be to go skydiving for the third time and get trained to scuba dive...and go to Australia....not really but that would be awesome!!! Love you all!

Life!

I am not sure what has been going on besides being busy with school and figuring out my summer plans.  I am pleased to say I got a job as a lifeguard in Boise at Roaring Springs water park.  I am happy about that! I dont have to keep looking for anything now.  I still have to find an apartment but I have a few that I have found, I just need to decide which one is the best fit.
One more month of school! Surprisingly this semester hasnt been that bad. I have taken 17 credits which is quite a lot but my classes arent too much to handle.  My chemistry class is just plain annoying.  I cant wait til its done!
For those of you who havent heard I am transferring to Boise State in the fall.  Im really excited! I know Boise has its reputation and all but Ill be okay! Every school has its troubles if you get involved in them.  I just know whats important and whats not.
I saw the midnight premier of the Hunger Games...Its soooo good! AHhh its awesome. I am going again in a couple days actually haha.
I have this crazy idea of spending a semester in Australia.  I want to study abroad so bad and Boise has an exchange program that is a pretty good price.  I think it would be so fun! If i went it would be in the spring of 2013, which seems like forever away.  Hopefully it will all work out so I can go. As of now thats about it with me!

Yay Boise! :)

how im feeling...

well i have noticed that everyone is being very open with there feeling and i though i would be too.. honestly things are pretty rocky lately.  my big family is changing. people are getting married, having kids, and we are slowly drifting apart into our own individual families.  i know that this change is inevitable and has been happening for the past few years but things feel different lately. me and my parents are super close still and i am so grateful for that but all this change in my other big family is making things hard.  i usually like change but some things i want to stay the same forever. my aunt just got married last week.  we have a whole new family apart of us.  i know i wont be as affected as my cousins will, but i know things will never be the same.  i miss my uncle all the time.  i just cant get over the fact that he isnt here anymore.  i know he wasnt my dad and i wasnt as close as others were but i think about him all the time and i cant help but feel like he is being forgotten along the way.  i know i am being super selfish but this is something i still need to deal with.  i envy my cousins and other family who can deal with this in a positive way. i have not gotten that far yet. i guess i just need some time to process what has been happening.
i have no idea what the future hold for me and i get pretty freaked out.  feel kinda lost in it all. there are so many possibilities and so many choices i have to make. i just have to take it slow and know that everything will fall into place.

#32 Go Rock Climbing

Rock Climbing! It is so fun. I am taking a class this semester titled, "Rock Climbing."  I have never climbed before unless you count climbing the wood pile in Island Park.  I know its indoors and so its not technically rock climbing, but you gotta start somewhere.  It is actually really hard at first. I had no idea how to move my body. Its all about using your legs to push yourself up and your arms are really just for support. I have my class once a week and with my class I get a membership so I can climb whenever I want. Its awesome! I eventually wanna save up to buy my own pair of shoes and harness and all that so I can go outside when it warms up. For now Ill just stick with indoors and maybe if someone I know rock climbs I can smoose off them:)

#21: Eat The Perfect Burger and Fries

Well number 21 on my list was eat the perfect burger and fries and it happened! It happened a while ago but I still thought I would tell everyone about my experience. Me and my dad went skiing at Targhee a couple weeks ago and on the way back we stopped by the Cheeseburger Factory over in Driggs by Joan and Randys.  I ordered the burger with jack cheese and it was amazing! I have had it before and this burger gets better and better every time. I ate every single bite.  I can not wait until the next time that I can eat it! Well, number 21, you are crossed off!

NEW BLOG!

hello everyone! since it being the new year and all I have decided to actually keep up on my blog and start fresh with all that i have been doing on it...lets be honest, its pretty boring.  Lately I have been really in to this show called The Buried Life. Its about a group of guys who have a bucket list of 100 things they want to do before they die then each episode they document something that they crossed, or attempted to cross, of their list.  So i have started and am still in the process of making my own list.  Because I have no idea what to talk about sometimes Ill put up things that I accomplish on my list for you all to see. hope it works out well! :)